So, I'm a few days late....seems to be happening a lot lately :) I promised in my last post to share my oldest daughters 'newly found' testimony. She felt that she didn't have anything special to share about her salvation story. I've heard it said that when God tears you down, it's so you will have an encouraging story of how He worked in your life. Because of the death of her daddy, she now feels that she has a story to tell.......here it is, in her own words..........
I’ve always wanted a testimony but never really had one. I’m like any other Christian, I have went to church all of my life and got saved at a young age but that’s not enough to help change a life. When Christian people give they’re testimonies it’s mostly they fell off the deep end and eventually get back on the right path with God. They help people realize what they’ve been doing wrong and it gets them thinking. But I’m happy to say I now have a testimony and it can, and is, changing people’s lives.
In December of 2012 my dad passed away. Life as I knew it changed forever. Everything I knew was different. I was super close with him we had a relationship many dads and daughters don’t have. It was sacred and special. We did everything together. We hunted, fished, ran hounds, and built lots of stuff.
About a month and a half after he died my mom told me she was seeing somebody. I didn’t know how to take it or even how to process it. All I said was I guess if it happened it’s in God’s plan and its meant to be. I had no say in what happened so I might as well accept it. At that time I was blaming people for anything and everything. Then I came to realize it wasn’t their fault. It wasn’t like my mom was looking for a new husband as soon as her own died. As soon as I thought I was ok with that, they threw another curveball at me. They were looking at houses. That was probably the biggest fork in the road for me. I felt like if I moved and left all of this behind that I’d be forgetting my dad in a way and just leaving him behind like everything else. But I’m not. I still don’t really know how I was ok with it, but I am. But it’s obvious it was all God’s working. He put it in me to be ok with it.
Fast forward another two months. We were looking at houses and they were seriously talking marriage. I couldn’t accept that somebody was going to take my dad’s place. Jason always was telling my mom he never wants to take my dad’s place and wants to keep him in our lives as much as possible. It takes a special guy to do that. He wholeheartedly took on four kids and my mom who just lost her husband and loving father to her children.
Now we are to about a month ago. We are for sure moving this summer and my mom and Jason WILL be married before we move. So my life has done a complete 360. We are currently living month 7, and my mom and Jason are engaged. They are getting married the 20th of July… and somehow through all of this I AM OK!!! I’m totally siked to move. I’m planning on going back to school in high school (in one more year). Lately I’ve been looking back to deer camp a month before my dad passed away and it’s crazy how much can change in less than a year! But if it’s in God’s plan for you, just accept it. Surrender yourself to His will. If you don’t you’re guaranteed to be miserable until you lose those grudges. I can tell you from experience. I was there at one time but as an answer to prayers God got me out and I haven’t been back since.
Think of your mind as a steering wheel of a car. First of all, you have to have a good driver, mine was God. Let’s say you start growing away from Him then your car loses control and eventually you’ll crash. But if you have the right driver you’ll have a clean record. And God will keep control. I’ve been thanking God for all of this happening. It may sound weird, but I’m glad it happened when I was young. My faith and self-confidence has soared through the roof. I feel like I can take on the world. I just over took the hardest faith testing challenge in my life. But now I know I’ll always have God to fall back on again and again. He’ll always be there to talk to and help me through it. My dad is for sure in heaven so I’ll see him again. Another bonus… Jason and Hanna are now saved and are going to heaven, too!
There is a reason for everything and its unfolding right before my eyes. I’ve been writing through these seven months and one time I wrote about finishing the hunt and carrying on his legacy. The other day somebody told me I AM MY DAD’S LEGACY. I am the one who will show my sisters what he showed me. I am the one to keep him alive, which works well cause I act like him and look like him.
It will be different not doing everything with him, like shooting my first deer. I shot my first deer the night before his showing at the funeral home. That’s what I’m talking about. Now every time I do something like that I’ll know that it’s that much more special and in honor of him.
Whenever somebody has asked how we are doing my mom said, “they are doing awesome.” I never felt that. However, God has brought me to the point where I feel right having that description. I feel like I now meet those standards. All thanks to God. I couldn’t have done it without him! Our God is amazing! He’s brought me through all of this and I feel like a whole new person it helped me in ways I didn’t even know I needed help. So know I’m ready to move forward and charge into the future because this is my new family…
I may have lost one but I gained two and in the end we’ll all see each other again in heaven, where we have all the time in the world God is using me in more ways than I can count. I know it. God is amazing and I thank him every day for putting me through this. I feel un-defeated. I defeated Satan and am on God’s side. As for Jason, he’ll never be my dad. He never wants to be, but I think we are ready for him be a part of who we are. This is my family now and I’m proud of it.
I’m ready for carrying on the legacy. God could have not brought him at a better time I just got my faith tested and I passed! I’m ready to see what my future holds. Because I am ok and I am going to make it !!!!! I am now ready to take on the next chapter in my life because I know with God I can do anything I set my mind to. My two favorite verses are now Jeremiah 29:11 and Philippians 4:13 they give you all the reassurance you need. God knows what is best for you and that you can trust him. If God gives you something hard he WILL help you through it. Don't give up on God or yourself.