'Monthly' eating issues....help!

This isn't something that I would normally do a blog post about, but I am hoping that I'm not alone and can get some much needed advice.

I have been trying to exercise more and eat more healthy.  I have yet to get into a 'good' exercise pattern, but I am beginning to crave it, so I am getting closer.  I also have been watching my portions and asking myself if it's really worth the calories to eat it.  I am trying to listen to my body and only eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full.  I do pretty well for the most part and about the time I get on a roll and feel encouraged that, yes, I can do this....... the dreaded 'monthly' hits.

I can seriously tell when I'm within 5-7 days by my appetite and food cravings.  I feel like I basically undo any work that I may have accomplished in the previous weeks.  I am absolutely ravenous and crave everything I can find.  I still try to eat healthy, but end up also eating any junk food I can get my hands on.  If I turn on will power, and only eat when I should, I get VERY hungry, like I haven't eaten in weeks.  My stomach growls and I almost feel sick......I can eat healthy foods but still eat a lot of them to feel satisfied.  I usually end up with some sort of junk food, too.....I will go out of my way to get it.

Does this happen to anyone else?  I never had this problem until recently....maybe a year or two.  I am pretty sure I am overtaken by someone else's body/brain.........someone very 'fluffy'.....lol

What are your tips for beating 'monthly' eating?  How can I fix this to fit into the healthy lifestyle I am trying to accomplish?  I realize it's only for a little less than a week....but that can reek havoc on a weight loss regimen. They say that eating well during the week and terrible on the weekends will derail weight loss....weekends are 8 days a month and that's about the length of my 'issues'.........any tips/help would be appreciated!

Freedom of Speech......or not

One of the things that I am thankful for on this Memorial Day is our freedom of speech.  I am thankful for the soldiers (past and present) that served to give us this freedom.  The freedom that allows us to freely express ourselves and speak of the things that we believe in.

A few days ago, we caught the end of the movie "Fireproof" starring Kirk Cameron.  We have seen it several times, but my 2nd daughter had never seen all of it.  She wanted to see it from the beginning, so when we visited the library the last time, we rented it.  This morning we watched it.  One of the things that stood out to me was day 1 of  "The Love Dare".  It said to not say anything critical to your spouse, even if they said something or deserved it.  I struggle with this.  I have to make a conscious effort to keep my mouth shut.  I have found that when I keep my mouth shut, things definitely run smoother.  Normally, if I say something I shouldn't, it ends up more blown out of proportion than if I would've just kept quiet.  My 'response' is generally way worse than the unkind remark that was originally made, setting the scene for a fight to erupt.

I have grown by leaps and bounds to be a better wife, but every now and then I slip into old patterns.  I have found, however, that thru asking for God's help, I have definitely improved as a wife.  I am genuinely happy to serve and 'submit' (another blog, right?) to my hubby.  I also know that he will have bad days, but by being joyful for him, I can turn the 'energy' in the house to be peaceful.  I enjoy making his home a 'comfy place to fall', and that cannot be done if I am argumentative.

So, back to my first thought.....I am so thankful for the soldiers who fought to give us the right to free speech, but I am equally thankful for the ability to keep my mouth shut.  I pray that if I can't be encouraging and uplifting, that my mouth stays closed.

"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." ~Proverbs 31:26


"Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman" ~Proverbs 21:9

Baby snuggles today!

In April, we hosted a baby shower for friends of ours.  The 'Daddy-to-be' has been a diabetic for most of his life and received a call on the following Monday that a pancreas/kidney were available for him.  He has been on dialysis for 3-4 years, so this was much needed.  He got the transplant and was sent home and was doing well.  'Mommy-to-be' was finishing up with her college courses and taking care of things around home, helping 'Daddy-to-be' heal before the little one came.

She's been having contractions and amniotic fluid issues for a while, so they figured the little one would be a little early, but she was out of the 'danger zone' should he decide to come now.

On Tuesday, we got news that 'Daddy-to-be' had gotten a blood clot and was readmitted to the hospital, about 2 1/2 hrs away from home.  They got him all fixed back up, but he was still in the hospital and Tuesday, we heard that the baby would possibly be coming that night.

Then no news..................

This morning, we got the call that the baby boy had been born last night (3 am) and all was well.  We were going to go see them and offer congratulations when we were informed that 'Mom' wasn't in the hospital we thought she was at, 'Big Brother was having his birthday party today', and 'new Daddy' was still in the other hospital from the complications.  OMGoodness!!!!  What craziness!!!!

We found out that 'new Daddy' was getting out today and heading to the other hospital to meet his new, adorable son.  We beat him to it :o)  We headed to the hospital with 3 of my 4 girls to get in 'snuggle time'.  Oh how I miss newborns!  Such a precious, sweet blessing.  My 9 year old didn't really want anything to do with him (she's more into toddlers), but my 5 and 2 1/2 year olds were GLUED to him.  I had to pry him out of their hands.  How are they such little mommies already?

Anyway, the whole family is doing well.  'Mom' and new baby are good and 'Dad' was on his way to the hospital to meet his son.  He is also doing well healing from the blood clot and subsequent stint that was put in.  This family has been thru alot recently and, even though you don't know them, your prayers for them would be appreciated.  This is 'Dad's' first baby and he is absolutely ecstatic and so proud.  Pray that all continues to go well and he continues to stay healthy and thrive with his new organs.  Hopefully, now all the chaos that has been surrounding them is over and they can just relax and bond peacefully as a family.

We had a very unexpected day, but it was so fun!  Nothing better than a newborn to brighten your day!

Letting your children choose to behave.......

A highly respected lady that I know once told me that when dealing with my children to make it a point to let them know that I am disciplining them because that is my job, given to me by God.  I don't want to punish them, but if I don't then I have to answer to God for not doing my job.  Their job is to live like the Bible teaches us to live and when they need corrected, that is my job.  That takes me out of the 'ruler maker' position and puts me into a position of 'rule enforcer'.  I am just the middle (wo) man.

I have found that this way of thinking really hits home with them.  It's not me vs. them anymore, it's them attempting to be more like the person God wants them to be.  It shuts down back talk or attitudes pretty quickly if I remind them that they wouldn't act like that if God was sitting here.  Of course, it helps if we, as adults, think that way also.  Sometimes it's hard not to expect more out of your children than you do yourself, but it also is a reminder if I am telling my children to act more like the Bible wants us to that they are watching me and I need to live my words also.  It's not enough just to tell them.  

My little two (5 and 2 1/2) and I have been reading Elizabeth George's 'A Little Girl After God's Own Heart'.  They beg me to read it for their nightly bedtime story and are upset if it's too late for whatever reason.  One of the parts (extracted from that book) that has been extremely helpful in our home lately is this:

"A Heart Filled with~Self Control"

"Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others.  Never do anything evil." ~Ephesians 4:31

Self Control

Why's it so hard to do what is right?

To hold myself instead of ignite?

God wants His kids to say "No!" to what's bad,

To be in control instead of get mad.

Dear Father above, please help me to be

The sweet little girl You so want to see-

A gal full of goodness, loving and true, 

Who's wanting to grow to be more like you.  

Since we've been reading this ALOT and I felt like it was really hitting home, when they've started to melt down or fight with each other I have been saying, "Are you being the 'sweet little girl'"?  They, almost always, stop the behavior and say, somewhat ashamedly, "No, I'm not" or they will hold each other accountable.  Even the 2yo has asked her sisters a few times if they are being "nice like Jesus wants".  It has saved a tremendous amount of things getting blown out of proportion or me getting stressed out about it and yelling (which is my own terrible issue that I have to deal with).  I have learned that trying to be pleasing to God truly makes for a happy, peaceful home.  Why did it take me so long to figure that out?

What is your best tip for heading off issues with your children?  Is there something that works well for calming down undesirable behavior before it gets out of control?

**Opinions about the book 'A Little Girl After God's Own Heart' are mine and only mine and I have not been compensated.  Other topics covered in this book are Love, Joy and Peace, Patience, Kindness and Goodness, Faithfulness, and Gentleness.  I would highly recommend this to anyone with little girls, it's really easy to read.  It's fairly short, includes a verse for each virtue, and has a easily understood poem for each**

Amish Friendship Bread mishap

I have a family member that frequently makes 'Amish Friendship Bread'.  She is very generous with it and brings it to me (and the family) whenever we see them, which isn't often enough (sigh).  I have asked her for some starter before, but she always tells me that I have enough going on and it takes days to make it, so she'll just make it and give it to me. My poor family never gets much of it because I can't stay out of it.  It's delish!!!  Probably a good reason for me to not make it, I'd have some every 10 days...not good, at least for my waistline.

Much to my delight, my daughter brought home some 'starter' from a friend at school.  I was so excited.  I faithfully followed the steps every day.  Yesterday was my day to actually bake the bread and I couldn't wait.  I was busy working out yesterday (thanks, Honey :o) and we had to leave for softball as soon as the kids I watch left, so I had to wait until we got home.  I went and bought bread tins to bake it in because you needed two and I only have one bread pan.  I got all the stuff out and mixed it all up short of dumping it in the pan and was thinking, "I am surprised that you don't take the 'give away' bags of starter out before you put eggs and whatever else into it, but whatever".  (I had read the directions several times throughout the week)  I was just getting ready to put it in the pans and I read down farther.....hmmmmm, that's funny......no mention of taking the 'give away' starter out.  So....I opened the directions back up to 'full page view'.  Uhhhhhh, you were supposed to put in more milk, flour, and sugar THEN take out the starter THEN add the remaining ingredients.  OH POOP!!!!!  Now what?  I have no starter to give away (much to the dismay of my 2 oldest girls, who had chosen recipients for it well over a week ago), I had 10 days wasted 'mushing' the bag, I had wasted all of the ingredients, I had wasted the time mixing it up, and most importantly.....I wasn't getting my beloved bread :o(

My oldest said, "Why don't you just bake it anyway".  Hmmmmmm....wonder if that would work?  We discussed it for a while about how the ingredients proportions were off and they didn't grasp that concept, but we decided to make it anyway.  I made 3 bread tins and put them in the oven for the 1hr cooking time.  They started smelling awesome, but I didn't get my hopes up.  I really thought that would come out really runny in the middle or not set on the top or something wouldn't work.  The timer went off and I, very doubtful, went to get the loaves out.

Much to my surprise....they looked like bread.  Tops nicely browned.  I thought for sure the middle would be like batter so I stuck a knife in one....came out clean.  Unbelieveable!!!  Next was the 'taste test'.  I cut a piece off the end of one and gave it a whirl.........it was good!  I don't think it's quite as yummy as the 'real stuff' is, but it's definitely edible.

My daughters were upset that they didn't have any starter so the oldest was going to ask her friend if she had anymore so we could do it right the next time.  Guess you live and learn, and just when I thought I was becoming 'Suzy Homemaker'..................

Up for the challenge?

I'm....so.....sore!!!!  My hubby has gotten in the habit of asking me every night after work if I worked out that day.  He really doesn't care either way, but knows that it makes me feel better and I am happier if I work out.

Last week sometime, I was whining because he had stopped asking me and it's my motivation sometimes.  I really feel like a loser if I have to tell him 'no, I didn't'.  Anyway, last night he asked me and I had to say 'no'.  I worked a TON on the internet yesterday and also had kids I was watching and softball last night.  No excuses, I just didn't make time......but there were reasons. LOL.

His solution to my already hurt ego......."Ok, well then since you didn't today, you can do 2 hours tomorrow to make up for it".  I looked at him like he was absolutely crazy and said, "There's no way, I have our 2 little ones, a 3 yo and a 4mo old tomorrow.  How am I going to accomplish that?" He said, "You can do it".  UGHHHHHHHH......."Deal", I said and we did a 'knuckle bump' (you know, to seal the deal :o)

This morning I was determined to make this work so I divided the 2 hrs into 10 minute increments.  The kids were wanting to go outside, so I told them I needed 10 minutes to get the first one done.  I set the timer for 10 min and started running my stairs (12 to be exact).  I seriously wanted to die after 2 minutes.  I do quite a bit of Tae Bo and, occasionally, the treadmill or walking with the double stroller but this was a completely different ball game.  By the time I was done, my chest was burning, my calves and thighs hurt, and I was breathing like I was gasping for my last breath.  NOT COOL!

I gave up until naptime, not sure that I'd even be able to walk let alone do another 1 hr and 50 min of exercise today.  As the kids were eating lunch, I did a quick 20 min (Tae Bo).  After lunch, they went down for nap, so I did the rest of that DVD (30 min).  I was a little tired, but still able to move (LOL).  I ate an orange and a half a peanut butter sandwich, and went to it again.  I knew if I could get the other 45 min workout done, I'd be golden.  I'd just walk easy for the extra 15 min.  I was NOT going to tell him that I didn't do it.  NO WAY!!!  I made myself get up and do the last video (Tae Bo again....LOVE Tae Bo, by the way :o).  By the time that was done, the kids were up again.  We went outside and I walked off my workouts with a 15 minute 'cooldown' up and down the driveway while the kids played.

I have never been so excited to do a 'report' than I was tonight!  I was given a challenge and I met it!  I told him that he may have to make his own lunch in the morning, because I am pretty sure that I'm not going to be able to get out of bed in the morning (LOL), but what a wonderful feeling!

Challenge yourself......or have someone else challenge you, you will find strength you didn't know you had!

Wasting time or not?

Sometimes I feel like I am spinning circles.  I have started this post a million times and still really don't have anything.  Maybe as I write, something will come out....hehehehehehe.

I usually get on my blog several times a day and look for new posts in the blogs that I follow.  On days like these, they send me all over!  I am greatful and find new things and amazing new blogs to follow and learn from, but can easily spend HOURS looking and reading and following, etc.  Not a wise use of time, is it?  I am hoping that I will learn to control this, but I just get carried away with myself.  I find something that really encourages me or something that I can relate to or someone that shares my sense of humor then I start clicking on this and that and before I know it, I have been to 20 sites, submitted my site to a whole bunch of 'networking' or 'promotions', blah, blah, blah.  So....am I 'working' or am I 'playing'?  I still have the house cleaned, somewhat.  Laundry is going, kids are busy or sleeping, etc.  Nothing really pressing NEEDS to be done, so am I wasting time or bettering myself?  I have found so much encouragement from others posts, strategically placed bible verses, family stories, etc that I feel like my 'blog' world is becoming a part of me.  I found a new book I want to read very much about spirituality and the link to fitness (and the fact that I grew up LOVING her and her bro makes me more excited!!!).  In fact, the first post I started today was about my half hearted attempt to lose weight (for good), so was this a good thing for me to find today?  I guess we'll see....LOL.

Bottom line is, I guess, as long as this isn't consuming me and taking away from my family, it's ok.  Sure I waste a few hours here and there, but I am learning and growing so much.  I am using these sites as a sort of 'second devotion' time, so many amazing points of view and things to consider.  Do you have issues with other sites you find on the 'round about' sending you on to awesome things and time just slips away?  I will say that it makes me a better person to always have these words of encouragement fresh in my mind.  So, for all of you that have helped me, I've tried to comment on your blogs....not necessarily for a return comment/follow, but because I was truly touched by something you wrote about or your blog as a whole.  Thank you for being awesome Christian role models, wives, mothers, friends, etc.  Someone out there is benefiting and thanking God for you!

'Extreme Couponing'.....worth it or not?

I have been wondering about something.....I have watched the show "Extreme Couponing" a few times and am really in awe of these people that get hundreds of dollars worth of goods for pennies.  I almost feel guilty when watching it, like I am spending unnecessary hard earned money on food.  I am wondering, though, how much money these people spend on printer ink, paper, newspapers, etc.  You have to think that offsets their savings somewhat.  It also takes a ridiculous amount of time, do their families suffer from the time spent on this 'obsession'?

Another thing I wonder about is how long companies and stores are going to offer good coupons.  If a sudden wave of people getting things for free or almost free comes over them, don't you think they would cut back on the offers they give?  Is this show going to make coupons hard to get and/or use?

I am a frugal person.  I always have been but I don't use coupons.  I should.  I get them if they are for something I use but, without fail, forget about them and they expire.  I never thought that much about them until people were walking out of a store with 3 carts for free.  Am I being a bad steward of our money?  I don't think so.  We used to make fun of my mom because she'd let us go to McDonalds for lunch, but she'd always say, "We can go but we are going to eat cheap".  'Cheap' meant cheeseburger, small fry, water.  We were ok with it.  Now, I say the same thing.  My girls are ecstatic if they get a happy meal.  We just don't buy extras like that.  We recently, during my hubby's last lay-off stopped eating out at all.  Now if we do because of a crazy busy night or something, we are disgusted at the money spent.

Like I said, I have always been frugal.  I buy sales/clearance, garage sales, second hand stores, etc.  I just can't justify spending a lot of money on anything.  My hubby's work is hit and miss and we have never had an income that was steady.  It all can change in the blink of an eye.  Because of that, we budget pretty well and make things work.  I have learned a lot of little money savers over the years, basically out of necessity.

I guess overall, I feel a little guilty about not jumping on the bandwagon of 'extreme couponers'....but don't feel like I am wasting money either.  At some point, you have to have priorities and mine are my family...not spending hours looking for coupons.  We can make a little money go along way, and I am extremely proud of that.

Do you think that the 'fad' of extreme couponing will fade or is it here to stay?  Do you coupon?  Will people get sick of trying to be the people on tv that save hundreds of dollars?  Is that even possible for the average person?  What is your favorite money saving tip, minus coupons?  Leave me your thoughts on this crazy wave sweeping our nation.

Congrats, Beah Bop!

Last night we attended our 3rd preschool graduation.

A little background info:  When my two older girls were young, 2 and 4ish, my hubby was working out of town.  He left very early Monday morning, worked all week including Saturday, drove home Saturday night, was home Sunday, then started it all over again Monday morning.  It was awful!  I have always wanted 3 or 4 kids, but being, essentially, a single parent wasn't for me.  I decided that having only two was enough.  I had actually gotten to the point that I'd have been somewhat upset had I gotten pregnant.  As long as he was gone all week, we were done with having kids.

He did that from March until November, when he got laid off.  Sometime around Christmas, we were watching an adoption special on tv.  He, completely out of the blue, turns to me and says, "Did we get rid of all the baby stuff?"  I would have been less surprised if he would've turned and smacked me, I think.   I cautiously said, "Yes.....we were done having kids, right?"  (I should mention that he was also adamant at that time that 2 was enough, and he was over having kids before I even began to think I was ok with being done.)  He said, "No reason, I was just curious".  Yeah, whatever......no one asks that question if they aren't thinking about something.  So I, being typical me, started to question him.  "Why are you asking?", "What is going on?", "You surely don't want another baby, do you?", etc.  He just smiled and said, "Maybe, don't you?"  Ummmmm, let me think.....NO, NO, NO!

Anyway, we started thinking about it and decided we did want another one.  He was working around home by then so I didn't have to be a single parent anymore, which was my main reason for being done.  So, we started trying.  Three or four months later, not pregnant, I was done.  I am pretty sure with the other two all he had to do was look at me, so months of not getting pregnant was foreign to me.  We decided (well, I think 'I' decided) that was enough, it wasn't meant to be.  I went in to get more birth control and thru the course of chatting with the lady she said, "I think you might already be pregnant".

Sure enough, I was.  I was very hesitant, he was THRILLED!!!  He couldn't wait to tell everyone, constant smile, etc.  Seriously, he was beaming.  I was thinking here we go again.  The next older was pretty self sufficient, no diapers, diaper bags, etc and here I go again.

A few months later, we found out that she was another girl (#3).....then I was thinking, 'oh man, I'm not sure I even wanted another baby let alone another girl'.  I was elated that she was healthy and everything was ok, but still not sure I was really into this yet.

Not long after that, everything changed.  She was kicking and moving and growing.  I finally got that excitement of  pregnancy.  I was excited that I was going to have a newborn again, then a toddler (the next one was almost 4 by then).  I was excited to have another girl.....I knew what to do with girls, boys would've been foreign to me...lol.

January 25th, 2006...my third beautiful daughter was born.  Kayleah Jennifer (Beah Bop, to us) was born to us.  She was 7lbs, 9oz and 19.5in long.  We couldn't have been happier.  She was perfect!

Now, she keeps us laughing with her 5 year old logic and her imaginative thinking.  She is a very loving, cuddly, little girl. She loves to help with her little sister and loves to take part in 'big girl activities'.  Her favorite thing in the whole world is spending time with Daddy running her beloved hound dogs.  She has a zest for life like no other.

Last night, at graduation, they played the song "Let Them Be Little" by Billy Dean while playing thru their 'year in pictures'.  It was all I could do not to turn into a blubbering tub of mush.  How did the little girl, that I wasn't even sure I was ready for, get to be 5?  Where did that time go?  How did it come to be that she will be a full time kindergardener next year?  So often in life we forget to cherish the hugs and kisses and frequent "love you, mommy's".  Times like these make you remember that time really does fly and once it's gone, it's gone.

I love you, Beah Bop and am so proud of you!  We are so glad that you were given to us and wouldn't trade you for the world!!!

Ok, now can someone please find me a Kleenex???

Does anyone else find this disturbing or is it just me?

My 11 year old is obsessed with making brownies.  She makes them ALOT.  Last night, she had mentioned that she was going to make them, but then by the time we got home from the softball games it was getting late.  I told her that she could still make them and I'd take them out of the oven.  She agreed because then it gave her a snack to take to school today.  My hubby was also involved in that decision as he is a bit of a chocoholic.  Anyway.....she made them and stuck them in the oven.  The timer went off and I took them out.  A little while later, my hubby went in and got a plate (yes, a plate) of brownies.  He sat down and ate them without much attention from me.  I went in a few minutes later to get one and found this:

Does this irritate anyone else?  I actually am a 'corner person', so this works well for me, BUT......I will eat a middle if that is next in line as to not upset the 'orderly eating of the dish' (whatever it may be), you know, start in the corner then go down the line til it's empty then start a new row.  I know, this is a little OCD...but I can't help it.  It about ruined my night.....LOL :o) 

And, yes, I also MUST have the toilet paper pull OVER and the towels must hang straight, the bedspread must hang straight along the bottom of the bed (and cover the blankets underneath)  What can I say...things like that irritate me.  I love my hubby dearly, so I guess if this is the worst thing he does, I can deal with it.....but I don't have to like it!!!

What little, non-important in the grand scheme of life things, bug you?  Do you go around and fix that stuff to make it 'right'?  

5 year old thinking.......

My 5 year old is always saying funny stuff.  I always swear that I am going to remember it to tell her dad or grandparents or whoever.  I have a tendency to forget.....however, tonight we were waiting in the car for her sisters' ball game to start and my hubby was eating his dinner.  (He got home from work as we were walking out the door).  I made brats and had watermelon and chips for him.  He wasn't impressed with the brats and said the watermelon wasn't sweet enough, blah, blah, blah....so I said, "Ok, well how were your chips?" (You know, kind of cocky because apparently his dinner which I made sure he had wasn't up to par tonight)  He said, "They were really good, what kind were they?"  My daughter who was hanging over us taking in the dinner discussion said, "Potato".  To which my hubby replied (while laughing) "Thanks, Captain Obvious".  Hehehehehehehehehehe :o)

Glad she cleared that up for us......guess the brand and/or flavor didn't occur to her, but she knew they were 'potato' chips.....LOL!!!!

Gotta love 5 yo thought processes.  What have your kids said to make you laugh lately?

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So much for my 'domestic goddess' stage.....

I was all excited that I started menu planning, cooking, baking, etc and actually somewhat enjoyed it.  I was a baking machine and had a planned dinner waiting when the hubby got home from work.  I was less stressed about it because I had a shopping list planned so I had all necessary ingredients and I also saved a ton of money by shopping that way.  All was well.........

Enter warmer weather.  Now, I don't want to cook at all.  It's too hot in here to turn the oven on, nothing sounds good, it's too nice outside to go grocery shopping, etc.  What happened???!!!  I got a break yesterday because it was rainy and cold, so my oven fried chicken and homemade apple crisp put me back in my new found 'element'.  I am wondering if anyone else experiences this 'summer fever'?  I was doing so good, ughhhhhhhhh.  Just when I think I am finally becoming unchallenged in the basics of homemaking, summer is arriving with a vengeance.  Do any of you change things up during warmer weather?  We grill alot, but my hubby does it and he just got put on 10 hr days at work, so that's probably going to be hit and miss for a while.......

Any good, 'low heat' dinner options would be appreciated!!!  How does your menu change in warm weather, if at all?

Frustrated with 'Miss Messy', HELP!!!!!!

One of my daughters, who shall remain unidentified (LOL!!!), is terrible at cleaning her room.  She likes clothes and shoes and is at an age the toys really don't interest her anymore.  I went thru her room a while ago and took out all unnecessary clothes, shoes that didn't fit, almost all of her toys, etc.  I went thru and labeled her drawers in her dressers (2 very small dressers) so that all her jammies were in a drawer, short sleeves, pants, long sleeves, etc.  I wash/dry/and fold her laundry before it goes back to her room (when she brings it up). She loves to draw/write letters/color/etc so I had all her 'art' stuff organized and all her books together in drawers under her bed.  I also took out all but a few of them.  Only necessary stuff remained, and even that was 'a place for everything, and everything in it's place'....couldn't be simpler (I even folded her clothes according to the drawers they went in).

It lasted for about 2 weeks (I don't think her room has remained clean for more than 2 weeks, EVER).  Then it once again looked like a tornado went thru.  Dirty (and clean) clothes litter the floor, candy wrappers and ripped up paper are everywhere, toys, blankets, you-name-it it's on the floor and dressers and night stand.  We take stuff away, make her spend the nights in her room after school, etc but nothing seems to matter to her.  If she does 'clean it', it's more like she just bulldozes everything to the outsides of the room and piles it up the wall.  Then she'll tell me, "Yes, mom, it's clean...you can vacuum".  Well, the middle of the floor is vacuumable, but the junk is stacked 4 ft high!

Like I said, we have tried everything I can think of and have failed miserably.  I keep threatening that she is only going to have a bed and a dresser, and maybe not even a bed but a mattress on the floor (then she can't shove things in the drawers and the shelves under it).  I can't justify getting rid of her clothes, although I have threatened keeping 7 outfits for her, one for each day and if she doesn't bring up her dirty clothes then she'll wear dirty clothes.  Problem is, she doesn't care if her clothes are dirty.....

The only privilege she has is softball, but can almost guarantee if I take it away things won't change.

I am reaching out to my 'blog friends' or anyone else that happens onto my site........any suggestions for me?  I used to tell my mom that it was my room so who cares if it was mess, shut the door and you won't have to look at it....but since I'm the mom now, I understand why that reasoning didn't work with her.  It doesn't work with me either.  We are blessed to have this house, she is blessed with the stuff she has and I want her to be thankful enough for it that she takes care of it.  I don't know if it is an attention getter for her or what, but I am tired of it.  Any suggestions would be helpful.............................................

By the way, I am not a mom that wants to be her 'friend', so playing hardball is not out of the question for me!

May Candle of the Month

These are amazing candles!  They are made of all natural wax and burn virtually soot free.  They are hand poured in the US (Pennsylvania) and are double wicked and triple scented, creating a fully burned candle that smells as good as when you first lift the lid.  If you are tired of black sooty candles that burn down the middle or have no scent left after initial burn.....give these a try.  Usually won't bother allergies (I have people that use these that previously couldn't burn candles!!!)

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Unanswered Prayers

~Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!~

I was checking out all of the new posts on blogs that I follow this morning and ran across "Heavenly Homemakers~Gratituesday".  The thought is that you post about what you are thankful for then share it on her blog.  As I thought about what I wanted to 'be thankful' for today all of the obvious ones immediately came to mind: healthy children, nice home, wonderful marriage, etc.  I wanted something to really 'hit' me if I was going to write about it then link to it on another site.  I wanted anyone that came to my site from that link to benefit from my post today.  I just figured I'd let it go and think about it as I went on with my day and maybe post later, if something came to me.

Well, it just happened.  Not even a half hour later I was surfing around Facebook came across some photos of someone that I used to have a MAJOR crush on when I was younger.  I used to pray that if I could just have him I'd never ask for anything again.  When Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers" came out, it was like he was reading my mind.  Until I met my hubby, there was no one that I wouldn't have dumped in a heartbeat should 'this guy' look my way.  Obviously, he never did and we both went different directions in life.  I have often thought that I am so glad that I didn't get that prayer granted to me back then.  I realize that it wasn't 'unanswered', the answer was 'no'.   There were better things waiting for me than him......my hubby.  As I looked over pics this morning, I was reminded again of how thankful I am that I am with my hubby and not 'mystery man'.  He is still a good guy (family oriented, etc), but likes to party and drink.  He is very far from what I would've wanted in a hubby or a dad for my girls.  As always, God always knows what we need even if we don't understand it at the time.  I thought for sure I would die if I didn't end up with him, now I will be forever grateful that I didn't.

**Me n my hubby/best friend.......Love him to death!!!**

Are there any prayers that went 'unanswered' that you figured out actually were answered 'no'?  How did it effect your life?  Are you glad that you didn't get what you longed for?

Precious family bonding

I am not a girly girl.  Before my hubby and I got married, we spent every waking moment either in the woods or on a river.  Our lives were consumed with hunting and fishing.  I came from a hunting family, but had never really hunted before I met my hubby.  I remember getting all excited on November 14th (the day before the opening of our rifle season) and not being able to sleep after watching my dad get all his gear ready.  I had never went, but had the desire nonetheless.  My hubby was an avid bowhunter when I met him, so I got to see what it was all about.  After one night, I was hooked.  I spent the first year hunting with him, but had my own bow (and rifle) by the next season.

We still continued to hunt together and he'd even tell me that I could shoot no matter what came out.  If I didn't want it, then he'd take it but he'd shot a ton of deer and he would rather watch me shoot anyway.  (Awwwww, what a sweetheart :o)  I am, apparently, not a very good hunter because I have only shot a doe, a little buck, and a 7pt in my 15 years of bowhunting and a small spike in my 15 years of rifle hunting.  It's not that I don't shoot them...I just don't see them (or at least not many).

**Me and Lexi~my oldest, she was about 8 at the time, not old enough to hunt yet**

The best thing about having this as a passion is that our girls are following in our footsteps.  My oldest bowhunted for her first time last fall.  She has waited for what seems like forever to her.  They have been hunting with us since they could sit up in a blind.  She hit a spike, but lost it due to the coyotes.  She was bummed, but anxious to try again.  Nothing happened for her again, but she's counting down until this fall.

I am so thankful that our girls love the same hobbies that we do.  It is such a good bonding time for us and gives us time to spend together as a family.  Some of our best conversations happen in a deer blind.  It is an amazing time for them and my hubby to have 'daddy/daughter' time and let them get that ever important attention from him.  He is amazing with them.....patient, helpful, interested, etc.  I am so thankful that since the Lord saw fit to give us 4 girls that he gave them a wonderful man to be their Daddy.  They are growing so fast but I am glad that, as they grow, we will always have this shared passion to link us together.

**Chad (my hubby) and Lexi**

Do you have any "family hobbies"?  What do you do to keep your family together during these hard times?

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there!  I am blessed to have a wonderful mom and to also be a mom.  I had a wonderful day with family.  My gifts were all homemade and well thought out by my children (love it!!!).  Nothing bought in a store can compare to gifts that your children make and think are 'perfect for you'!

We started the day with church, then dinner with extended family, and then home to enjoy the wonderful sunshine.  We spent the afternoon playing kickball in the driveway with the kiddos and catching up on some yard work.  I kept getting the feeling that I was so thankful for having children that are willing to help and work around our house with little pushing from us.  They take pride in making things look nice and helping share in the responsibility.

Tonight as I read to 3 of my 4 children before bed, I thanked God that my life is so amazing.  It's not perfect, by any means, but we have so much to be thankful for.  I couldn't have asked for a nicer Mother's Day.  What did you do for mother's day?

'To homeschool or not to homeschool?' that is the question!

What motivated you to homeschool, if you homeschool?  I understand that most of you would say you felt the need to, prayed about it, and that is the way the Lord led but what led you to even consider it enough to pray about it?

The thought crosses my mind every now and then.  I used to tell parents (several of my friends) that they were crazy.  School was my only break from my children, like free daycare kinda.  Now, when the thought enters my mind, I still dismiss it pretty quick but wonder if I would have what it takes to actually do it.  There are several things that my older two children have come home to tell us that have me disturbed.  My oldest just watched a evolution video (which we all did and she knows enough to know that we don't believe that), but its other things like increasingly disrespectful children, teachers that are 'out on a limb', etc.  The teacher comment stems from this scenario, told by both of my children:  In art, if they drop something like a crayon, pencil, etc. they must pick up the item, talk to it and tell it why they are sorry for dropping it and then put it in time out.  What a huge waste of time!  My hubby was irate when he heard about that.  It didn't happen to my children so we didn't pursue it, but how absolutely ridiculous.  There are so many other stories like that my children tell us on a regular basis.  Watching movies in gym class, etc.  

Most of the people in our church, except for about 3 of us, either send their children to private Christian school or homeschool.  My oldest has said more than once that she'd rather homeschool.  Her friends that do it are usually done around 12 or 1pm, because they do their work and are done.  None of this wasted time junk. 

I feel very inadequate to teach my children all they need to know and also never had any calling to be a 'teacher' (for a profession, I know I am one as a mother :o).  Can someone like me really homeschool?  I would love to hear from all of you, homeschoolers or not, any info you want to share about your experiences and/or decisions.   I know, from being in business for myself, that you need to surround yourself with like minded people so that you develop the will to succeed.  Also, in your faith, you want to surround yourself with people that believe the same, as to give each other encouragement/support.  What kind of people am I surrounding my children with?  We are very involved in church and with friends from there, but is that enough?  Please leave me your thoughts!!!

Spring = Softball for the Searfoss'

It's our busy time of year!!!  Our two oldest girls are playing softball again this year which, for us, equals 3-4 nights a week of ball.  It makes for crazy nights, but they love it and we love to watch.

This is Lexi, our oldest.  She basically lives for softball (and bowhunting) and is finally getting to a league that is fun to watch.  They are getting old enough to 'play ball' and not 'catch butterflies' in the outfield :o)  She gets moved all around the field (her coach is amazing at getting everyone to play everywhere), but her passion is pitching and she's getting pretty good!!

This is Carly, 2nd in our lineup.  There is no 'winners or losers' in her league.  Very big source of irritation for me (and the rest of the family).  They don't keep score, among other things that they don't do, to spare feelings.  How do these kids learn about real life if they aren't allowed to learn to win and lose gracefully?  They are then thrown into the next league where they are expected to play softball.  Lexi played summer all stars softball last year and 1/2 of the kids playing just stood there when they struck out because they didn't know what a strike out was.  How sad it that?  Waste of time if you ask me.  When did it become ok to coddle our children to the point that they don't know how to live in the real world, because everything was taylored to make them 'feel good about themselves'?  Self esteem can be achieved without putting blinders on them so that they think the world is all 'ponies and fairies'.  

Sorry about the little rant.....just had to get it off my chest :o)  Anyway, we will be watching our children learn to be part of a team, do their best, and (for Lexi) win and lose with grace.  Even though it's busy, we love this time to let life revolve around them and watch them grow into little adults!  I am so proud to be their mom :o)

What do you think about these rules?  Should everyone at this age level (6-8) be able to 'win' or should they have to learn the rules, play by the rules, and win/lose?  Share your opinions by leaving me a comment!

Mom of 4......girls

When I was young, I alway knew that I wanted to be a mom.  My hubby and I thought it'd be awesome to have a boy then a girl then, because we knew we'd be young when we started, we'd wait a while and have two more....hopefully, another boy then a girl.  The 'perfect' little family.  Well, we ended up with 4...two close, then a space, then two more however, they ended up all being girls!  I had a much harder time with this then my hubby did.  He wanted girls.  Maybe deep down he would've liked to have a son, but he always maintained that he didn't care and was totally happy having another girl, then another, then another.  I was good for the first two, but then when the girls kept coming, I was really wishing (and praying hard) for a boy.  

In between my 3rd and 4th, I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks.  This changed my outlook on things.  How selfish was I to be upset that I had three, healthy, thriving girls.  There are so many that with they could conceive or have healthy children.  I was extremely humbled and moved to be thankful for what I had.  When I ended up pregnant with number 4, I was asked many times if I was wishing for a boy.  I really thought it was a boy, my pregnancy was a completely different from my other 3, but I was very thankful to be given another baby and truly didn't care what the sex was.  We found out at 20 weeks that she, too, was a girl.  She's now 2 1/2 and I wouldn't trade her for anything.  It's amazing to me how we think we know what we want, but God knows what we need.  Parenting girls has made me really look at myself and change many things that I needed to improve on to be a good motherly/wifely/etc example for my girls.  I thank the Lord every day for the gift of my girls and, even though I jokingly ask people with only boys if they want to swap a girl for a boy, I am extremely thankful that I got all girls.  I would love to see what it is like to parent a boy, but that is not to be for me and I am finally ok with that.

Wouldn't trade them for anything!!!!!!!

Bring out the boxing gloves??

In my quest to become a better homemaker, specifically a mother...I am pondering some things.  I have a 5 year old that is picking up on bad habits from her 2 older sisters.  I am curious as to how you handle disrespectful behavior, such as: sighing, UGHHHHH's, back talk as they walk away,etc.  Also,  lately in this house there has been a lot of sibling fighting.  I have found that yelling absolutely doesn't work and that is what I am working on for myself.  I want it to be their choice (or so they think) to respect each other.  Most of their fights start because of something that someone did to someone else and the '3rd party' intervenes.  Or because one is 'huffy' about something and they barge their way around the house.  These seem like simple fixes, but what should be my focus?  Respecting others?  Will that focus shift the direction this house seems to be headed in?  We have fun together and I feel like there is a easy fix to these unnecessary wastes of energy, but I'm apparently not finding the 'right words' to show them.  I have been praying about this, but would love some insight from other moms as I know I am not alone in this.

(If you try to comment and it won't let you, please email me at nicolesearfoss@hotmail.com and let me know...I have been having some issues with this....thank you!!!)