- "What if my hubby is self centered and selfish?"
- "What if I'm feeling convicted by God to go against my hubby's wishes"
- "What if my hubby is an unbeliever?"
- "What if my hubby is mean and unfeeling? Unloving?"
We are all up against these scenarios at some point or another in our marriages. Granted, some are worse than others and it's harder for some than others because we are all in different marriages. However, the same principal applies.......it doesn't matter how our hubbys act as long as they aren't asking us to disobey God's commandments, we are to submit to them.
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord........Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." ~Eph. 5:22, 24
It doesn't say anywhere in these verses that we are to submit if our hubby's are kind, generous, supportive, unselfish, etc. It says 'submit as to the Lord'. It's not usually up for discussion as to whether or not you question the Lord, it's just taken for granted that you don't. He knows what is best, we don't. I'm not in any way comparing our hubby's to the Lord, as they are sinners (as are we), just stating that we are to submit to them as if they were.
I saw a comment on a blog that stated that we are to submit 'unless we are feeling God's convictions to lead us elsewhere'. This is not the case. God would not 'convict us' to go against our hubby's wishes. Unless you are breaking God's commandments, we are to submit to our hubbys. The example was that a hubby was wanting the wife to sever ties with family and/or friends and the lady was stating that it was ok if she was feeling 'a conviction from God' to continue in those relationships. And that, hopefully, the hubby would honor that conviction, because it was, in fact, from God.
I responded to the comment saying, "Unless the hubby is asking you to kill the friend/family member (thus breaking a commandment), you would need to submit and honor his wishes. I'm not saying that it would be easy, but feeling like it was a 'conviction from God' to continue in those relationships without hubby's blessing would be a sin. If it's God's will for you to continue in those relationships, God will change your hubby's mind."
"Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you" ~Gen 3:16
I have mentioned several times that I am a very strong willed, independent woman. However, my heart changing decision to submit to my hubby on all things (that don't go against God's commandments) has made a good marriage, great! It's not easy, but the more you make it part of your everyday life, the easier it becomes. It can be done and it will not return void. If you follow God's will for your life, including being submissive, you will be blessed.
I used to be the first one to say, "You don't have to live like that. He doesn't need to be a jerk, just leave. If your're gone he'll see what he's missing". I now see how wrong that is. We need to be in constant prayer that our hubbys will follow God's will for how to treat us, but that shouldn't determine how we treat them.
"Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives," ~I Peter 3:1
I haven't met a guy yet that left when a wife was loving, caring, respectful, unselfish, giving, etc.
The best way to 'get your hubby's best' is to give him your best. Be his girlfriend so he doesn't have to find one.